Hate Your Job? Read This.March 3rd, 2021
It’s the evening before your shift and suddenly, that feeling of dread rears its ugly head. You feel it deep down in the pit of your stomach. It’s a recipe of dread, anxiety and stress held together with a touch of panic and a generous sprinkling of ‘what the hell am I doing?’
You try your best to tame it. You indulge in a few episodes of your latest Netflix series living vicariously through the characters but when it comes to an end reality kicks in. So, it’s off to bed and hopefully, you’ll sleep it off and feel better by the morning.
Morning comes and you’re awoken abruptly by the mundane sound of your alarm. You pull yourself out of bed, dress and pop on makeup to try and cover up the ‘I hate my job’ look written all over your face. On your way to work you say to yourself, ‘I have to do this job; I need the money’ or ‘I’m not good enough I don’t know what I’m passionate about.' As the day goes on your shift drains you, it’s so tiresome trying to do your best. When the day is done you go home, cook, bath, bed. All to repeat again tomorrow.
Sound familiar? That was my reality for a VERY long time.
Even more so after I had my children. From the moment I laid eyes on them, a beam of love shot through me like a bout of lightning, it ‘woke’ me up to the world around me. I was no longer okay with riding the hamster wheel I had unknowingly created for myself. I was no longer okay with being in a job that didn’t align with my values: a job that held me back from being my true self.
It took me a further 4 years to finally realise that what I really wanted to do for a living was to write. Writing has always been a part of me but I shut it out, I let the voices of others and the ‘fight or flight response’ in my brain control me and bring me back to being ‘realistic’. “Your grammar is terrible, there’s no money in it, you aren’t good at it” all kept swimming around in my head.
During these 4 years, I became desperate to find a way out. I investigated careers that suited my star sign, I took personality quizzes, I listened to podcasts and watched YouTube videos. I watched small business owners on Instagram taking on the world, dealing with extreme setbacks, working hard to make their business blossom. I craved that. and I was ready to put blood sweat and tears into something I loved.
One day, I came across a Mel Robbins video on YouTube by chance. She was discussing passion and it was then that I finally got the message. Mel advises that we must stop looking for our passion. Why, you ask? She explained that passion is energy. Energy comes from inside of you not outside.
So, what naturally energises you? What do you get lost in? It could be art, writing or maybe sport whatever it is, lean into it, bring your energy into alignment and get lost in it.
I appreciate your brain is shouting “That won’t support me financially, it’s just not realistic”. Stop. Please just stop. I’m not telling you to leave your job tomorrow, but it could open an opportunity for a side hustle and that will most definitely bring joy back into your life. If after a while you can take the leap it could open endless opportunities for you.
If you must stay put for a while longer, utilise all the resources that you have in your workplace, to grow and to learn. At least you can take away something positive with you. Maybe it's free training, customer service skills or leadership skills. Whatever it is, use it.
Who around you has qualities that you admire? How can you emulate them?
There are of course things that you need to consider before taking that leap. If its money you’re concerned about, get a budget planner to map out all your income and outgoings.
Is there anything you can cut down, or cut out? If it's debt that is holding you back, look into consolidating it into one payment to take off the pressure. If that isn’t an option, call a debt agency helpline like Citizens Advice. They are there to support you and will explain all the options available to you.
It may set your credit rating back a few years, however, life isn’t getting any better whilst you continue to live off credit cards, is it? Yes, there are certainly more sacrifices to be made but how exciting that you can finally breathe and light that tunnel up for yourself.
Now, if it’s passion you’re looking for, ask yourself the following questions:
• What energises me?
• What do I love to talk about?
• What do I want to learn more about?
• What are my strengths and weaknesses?
• How am I working on those weaknesses?
• Which books/movie characters do I aspire to? Why?
• Who inspires me? Why?
• Write a bucket list, is there a common theme?
• Most importantly – What or who is your Why? What’s motivating you?
“What if I fail?” you ask. Failing is growth. One of my favourite quotes was said by Tyrese Gibson ‘You will always grow through what you go through.’ Let that sink in. Life can be tough, but if you’re energised by what you are doing the hard work will pay off!
Think back to something you really enjoyed as a child but stopped doing as an adult. Picture someone telling that child ‘no you can’t do that as there is no money to be made’ or ‘it’s too silly and you aren’t very good at it.’
Wouldn’t you want to wrap that child in a warm hug and do what you must do to protect their feelings? So why let people do that to you as an adult?
As a parent, we want what’s best for our children but sometimes we confuse that with our own childhood traumas. How incredible would it feel to show your child that you never gave up? That they can be anything they want instead of limiting them to a 9-5 that causes them unnecessary stress and affects their mental and physical health. Children are our future, lets encourage them to follow their dreams!
There is no reason why you can’t too! You are unique. You may not think you have anything to give to the world, but you do! It’s time to stop that inner negativity. Shut it down. There are lots of videos and podcast available to help you. Use them. Take your control back.
My hope for anyone reading this is that you take what you need from it, let it guide you to become the you that you’ve always wanted to be and pass it on to anyone you feel needs to hear that they can too.
Holly Sofroniou is a writer and has her own blog Holly Writes Words where she chronicles her thoughts on life and the universe. Holly is included as a guest writer for The Isbourne.